The Truth about Honesty: Final Revelation

With the diligent effort of a dear person close to the heart I feel this piece as the closest any has come to perfection. Here's to getting published!

The truth. It can simultaneously set the narrator free, burden the listener, and have unforeseen consequences for even the greatest writer. There are many variations of the truth of course. There is the whole truth, the half truth, and at times simply not telling a lie can constitute some sort of honesty. This perspective of course depends on who is being asked. The narrator and the listener often do tend to hear things differently. The narrator tries to express their thoughts clearly, while the listener may only hear what he or she has already assumed. There are plenty of versions of a story that claim to be the truth. One must always be very conscious of the way the truth is communicated, as it is often misinterpreted and misunderstood.

The truth is more often that not a very difficult thing to present. It is so because of the common connotation attached by our minds from our previous personal experiences in telling and hearing the truth. If telling the truth wil get you in trouble; it is easier to lie and even easier just to avoid the truth. The listener may be close in heart and revealing the truth to them can potentially cause an undesirable position of vulnerability for the narrator. The mind creates a perceived reaction even before conversation has occurred. This situation creates a self-made fear for the narrator and thus and prolongs its delivery.

The longer one continues to 'live the lie', so to speak, the more difficult it becomes to shed that sense of falsehood. Honesty is the best policy of course, and acting accordingly from the beginning often has very surprising results. The results primarily being that is place you in a positive position adding clarity to the exchange. The truth and the way it is presented is vital in creating the conversations and relationship that you desire.

I speak from the perspective of a person who is continually working to shape my conversations to be more constructive, useful and substantial. My routine way of operating is similar to that of acting first and then asking for forgiveness later. Asking for permission increases the amount of complexity and anxiety for everyone involved. It creates an unnecessary build up and creates a climax that is often undeserving of the stress and anticipation. I find the direct approach to be difficult, but become increasingly easier with practice. Oddly enough, you quickly learn that people appreciate the direct approach. There is no manipulation or evasiveness; it is refreshing break from how most people communicate. The listener is more likely to forgive as it shows a genuine effort to reach out and connect on a higher level.

People tend to think that the person ho is not being told the truth is the one being denied and made to feel foolish for not knowing the reality. In actuality, it is the person withholding the fats that is carrying the burden and freedom is the price paid. I believe that being honest is often a selfish action. yet, it is looked at by others as being utterly selfless. Take advantage of this, keeping in mind that there are always delicacies involved. Nevertheless, I would rather impose on one's feelings for a fleeting moment rather than restrict myself for any length of time.

Words must be selected carefully when extending the truth to the listener. When chosen properly, these words will offer freedom from lies and satisfaction through truth. Words are peculiar form of expression. They can be made to serve any agenda and manipulate masses. Words also have the ability to illustrate the most vivid picture. They can take a story and produce a piece of writing that is so abstract is would rival any Picasso.

Language is a fascinating form of art. It is a well knows as a system of words used for communication. Language is beautiful way to express what we feel, think, see and desire. Words can also be used to the detriment of all these aspects. Caught in the middle of this space is a little facet of the English vernacular known as the truth. The truth has many forms, definition and understandings. Seeking the truth and embodying the truth are also uniquely differing but there is no denying the presence of it when a person is acting with honesty, it is a way of operating. Embed that operation into you everyday life and let the results astound you. Correct your thinking and interactions so that the only option is to speak in a truthful manner. Telling the truth is easy. In the grand scheme of things it's just words right?

Song of the Day: Sai-Breathe Me (Mylo remix)

The Truth About Honesty

Words are a funny thing. They have the ability to illustrate the most vivid of pictures or take a story and produce a piece so abstract it would rival any Picasso. They can be made to serve any agenda and manipulate the masses. Language is a beautiful way to express things that we feel, think, see and desire. Words can also be used to the detriment of all these aspects. Caught in the middle of this space is a little aspect of the English vernacular known as the truth. It can simultaneously set the narrator free, burden the listener, and have consequences unforeseen by even the greatest fiction writer. There are many variations of the truth, whole truths, half truths, white lies, and even not telling a lie can constitute honesty. This of course depends on who is asked. Versions of the truth are a plenty and one must be very conscious of the way the truth is communicated, as it is often misinterpreted and misunderstood. But enough about the vagueness of honesty it is time to analyze what the truth can do and what it means through the eyes of yours truly.

The truth is more often that not a very difficult thing to present. The truth is susceptible to degrees in terms of the ease in which it is to relay to people. Some subjects are close to the heart and revealing the truth is perceived to be a position of vulnerability. A position that is uncomfortable and thus usually undesirable. A misconception though it may be but reality is defined by perception.

Time is also a factor the longer one continues to 'live the lie' so to speak the more difficult it becomes to shed that falsehood. Honesty is the best policy and acting accordingly from the beginning often has very surprising results. The results primarily being that it places you in the position you want to be in while adding a clarity to the exchange.

I speak from the perspective of someone who is continually working to make my conversations more constructive more useful and substantial. The direct approach is a thing I find to be difficult but becoming increasingly easier with practice. I hold this practice and way of operating similar to that of acting first and then asking for forgiveness later. I believe that being honest is often the most selfish thing one can do and yet it is looked at as being rather selfless. Take advantage of this. Of course there are delicacies involved but on the whole I would rather impose on one's feelings for a fleeting moment rather than restrict myself.

The fact is as much as people like to think that he person not being told the truth is the one who is being denied and made to feel foolish for not knowing it is the person withholding the facts that is carrying the burden, and freedom is the price paid.

The true ending of a good or difficult conversation is leaving with the thought there is nothing left for me to say and actually meaning it.

I suppose after all telling the truth is easy. It's just words right?

A dedication to a woman with the same initials. Thank you for helping me find the truth.

Song of the Day: Medina - You and I (Deadmau5 remix)

Balancing Act

Constantly surrounded by changing circumstances the power of observation is essential. Minute details that play into the larger fabric of the environment and people around us. Those who successfully master this skill are often at distinct advantage. Allowing those who do realize to capitalize and react effectively.

Individuals inherently strive to achieve more, become better at their craft, and generally increase the utility derived from each endeavor they pursue. Generally speaking the nature of being human is first and foremost self preservation and thus many things we do are self serving. In recognizing this and looking at what it means in a more modern context it is usually acceptable to equate the concept of self preservation to creating economic wealth. This is by no means the sole measure but perhaps the most widely understood and accepted one. The basic premise being that security, comfort, and overall satisfaction are highly correlated with the assets one is able to accumulate. The intention is not to oversimplify the many aspects people strive for but in general self worth in the eyes of the individual and society would agree with this thought.

All the above is observation, but to put it in a more contextual and real life perspective it is useful to look through the lens of those who have 'made' it according to the guidelines of self preservation above. There is no better way than to look at circumstances of the 'made it' population. Given the unique advantage of knowing several (some who are very close to home) in the 'made it' crowd I notice glaring deficiencies in their lives. The chinks in armor are as varied as the people themselves but the fundamental similarity is that things has been lost on the journey to making it. Some are quite obvious such as trading time in the office for time with the kids, or losing sight of ethics and morals in the pursuit of profit or squandering the once unbreakable bonds of previous relationships. However, all too commonly the deficiencies are minor and can go ignored. When coupled with multiple deficiencies or when unaddressed the flaws grow increasingly larger. This is evidenced in the well known mid life crisis, when a breaking point is reached and drastic, instant gratification measures are taken to remedy the problem; often ineffectively so. Well documented is the notion of how things going from seemingly perfect to the disastrous. Whether it is the sensationalist movies bridging fiction between the life of the privileged and the confines and trials that such privilege come with. Or the gruesome news story of the seemingly perfect family gone wrong. There is no doubt you have been exposed in some way to this as even the most oblivious must have observed.

The reason for this post is to analyze the what, when, how, and why this is so often the case. In order to do so provided is a list of terms that are essential ingredients to making it as defined by Webster's and the dissection of the reality of the terms.

Opportunity:
1 : a favorable juncture of circumstances
2 : a good chance for advancement or progress

As Oprah so eloquently puts it this is when hard work meets luck. I however prefer to think of this as two thoughts colliding to create the pursuit of an objective with reckless abandon. In the context of the made it crowd I have seen people look at their successes and dismiss them instead choosing to focus on the missed chances, and trying in vain to make up for them. A game in which satisfaction is never achieved and the thirst for acknowledgment is never quenched. Corrupting current chances. Hindsight is 20/20 but no perspective is blinding.

Success:
1 obsolete : outcome, result
2 a : degree or measure of succeeding b : favorable or desired outcome; also : the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence
3 : one that succeeds

Commonly known as the most arbitrarily and simultaneously measurable aspect in life. Measurable due to the quantitative nature associated with the term but arbitrary because it means so many things to so many people. In a consumption based society the degree to which success is defined is simply money and the ability to attain possessions of desire. However, the world through a different perspective sees success in a broader context, much like the second definition. One in which you work to live as opposed to living to work. The latter is what too many people do. Work above all else is a hazardous practice that lends itself to much unhappiness.

Wealth:
1 : abundance of valuable material possessions or resources 2: abundant supply : profusion 3 a : all property that has a money value or an exchangeable value b : all material objects that have economic utility; especially : the stock of useful goods having economic value in existence at any one time wealth>

A prime example of how the things we value in life can be out of order. I personally know millionaires that would gladly give their abundant material possessions for a real and substansive interaction with their children. Wealth should encompass much more than your bank account. The healthy relationships that you have with peers, family, and friends is more often than not a fortune in itself.

In all this observation I must look at myself and say am I writing this because I have not 'made it' or is my 'made' defined differently. I would like to believe its the latter but a third party is always useful when it comes to evaluating that.

I urge everyone to reflect on their picture of being made. You may already be closer than you think.

Song of the Day: Nina Simone-Sinnerman

Delusional Daydream

In doing some leisurely reading I came across a great exercise from one of my favorite blogger's. The exercise is much more extensive than what I present however for my purposes the basic premise is creating your ideal situation in life and eliminating expectations and perceived obstacles. Things that I have written at length about before but this is actually quite cool because it give interesting insight into what everyone wants when they wake up in the morning; which would be an amazing day. It's one of those 2 times in a year days that most people have. That find the money in a pocket feeling all day. So I thought I would map out my perfect day just to see if I could make it more of a common occurrence.

The context: I currently reside in Bali, Indonesia a mecca for backpackers and high society expatriates alike. From what I understand its a blend of excesses, indulgences, and spirituality all wrapped in one nice beach towel. I will find out for sure in about 3 weeks. But it does sound like the perfect setting. Close enough to all the action yet the secluded spots are still right there. It is this setting that provides the atmosphere for my perfect day mapped out as intricately as my mind can imagine.

7:00 AM Presuming the previous evening ended relatively tamely I wake up to a rising amber sun grab my surf board and head to the beach for some tranquility and adrenaline served in a lovely cocktail that can only be achieved in the barrel of a wave. This form of meditation suits me perfectly.

8:30 AM I head back to my place which is located adjacent to the hostel that I co-own with one of my best friends. We sit at breakfast with some of our guests and talk about the day ahead last nights events and go over the business. New reservations, current and future occupancy, look at some other acquisitions we are planning, and meet with the team to see how things are going get feedback and see how we can continue to be the best hostel experience that side of the world. We wrap up by talking about upcoming events and excursions for the guests and with that last sip of passion juice we call it. Time to go back to work.

10:00 AM We head out to the Gili Islands catching a ferry that we arranged for our backpackers day excursion. Although we have made this trip several times before with our guests and just for fun this one has a slightly different goal. We have recently been told that one of the many backpacker accommodations is for sale and the owner is also intent on selling his beach front bar as well. Realizing the potential of the place we agree to pursue further talks after a period of due diligence. Not only is this going to be a profitable compliment to our existing business and help build our band but its the right price and just up our alley. We talk briefly about a plan of attack and agree that getting more familiar with the other business owners is key.

12:30 PM After a quick bite to eat from a local food stand we head over to meet our staff and guests as today they are taking snorkeling lessons with a good friend who a master diver that we partnered with as part of what we offer to guests. I relax on the glass bottom boat as Latif eagerly plots our next moves for the Gili Island take over. Already the theme nights are spewing from his thoughts and I urge him to relax as the temperature nears 30 degrees.

4:00 PM Back in Bali I walk into the hostel to check on preparations for the evening as tonight is the legendary ladies night at our bar. Things seem to be shaping up with their usual fervor. And the bar seats are already filled with new arrivals.

4:30 PM I head over to my place a shower and some administrative details need to be handled. It seems that with profitability the appropriate planning is necessary. Our accountant needs to be sent a few documents and our broker needs to put an offer in on the next property. But what I really relish is the opportunity to sit down and add a new entry to my website. I have had a topic brewing for quite some time and its finally time to give my readers an update about what they can expect in the coming weeks. My first online product is finally about to come out and there are only a few touches left to go from my graphic designer and editor before its released to the public. I have completed several free packages and they have been met with an excellent response leading to what is now a solid readership base. Lastly, I have to book my ticket to Nairobi next week. It's my dad's birthday next week and he is in for a surprise the whole family is going to be there, grand kids too!

7:00PM Finally a bit of time to relax on the deck with a book and catch up on the pages that I have been neglecting. An escape even from paradise is necessary. The book is by a good friend and mentor that is currently flying off the bookshelves, and I can see why. The perfect blend of information and entertainment.

8:15 PM Ready to go! The airport is a bit of a trek, especially with Indonesian traffic, and one I rarely make but this time it is for VIP I have my cousins and 2 friends flying in and they are kicking off a one month trip in the region. The 4 nights that will follow are sure to be a page from the adventures before. Perceived maturity on lasts until the plane lands and then indulgences are pursued with reckless abandon.

10:00 PM We are catching up, laughing and finishing up dinner as the drinks go down smoothly. I tell them about a great spot we need to hit later that evening but dropping off the bags and showering is a must after their journey in. I drop them off at the Villa and head to the hostel the meeting is our bar no later than midnight.

11:30 PM People start to flow in and family and friends are enjoying the tropical blend of beverage specials. The new bartender seems to be working out well and the work for accommodation arrangement is hopefully more permanent than that the few weeks initially intended. The numbers continually improve and sure enough as 1 AM arrives the place is packed. I make sure loose ends are tied as these nights can seem too much. The crowd of locals tourists and expats overflow onto the beach as the visiting DJ keeps feet moving before. Heading out into the moonlight with the crew there are new adventures to be had and a night full of stories waiting to be made. But the nagging thought of 'Can I get a surf in tomorrow?' nags at me. There are worse things to be worried about I console myself because days like this are only 7 times a week.

Song of the Day: Adele-Hometown Glory (High Contrast remix)

Catch 21

"With so many different directions to choose from, you just have to keep one foot in front of the other. Trust your gut and follow your heart."

A.G.

The crossroads of decision and direction approach and arrive. I seem armed only with irresolution and indecision that I have already sworn away. This type of life, so much more in concert with anonymity and inconsequentiality. No inherent risk and no apparent gain.

Its actually quite the juxtaposition from the barriers faced previously. And it is due to one simple observation and truth. Life is easy, it is just not simple.

All the aspects in life that we choose to attain are really easy to identify. The steps to attain them are varied, but similarly identifiable relative to the end. This all is easy. Putting together a plan and securing the will to do so is easy. It is the action, the determination and the commitment to the course of action with abandon to all other causes which are not simple. This is true of myself. I often wonder if this is a fake phobia or a self created delusional flaw of character or worse yet is it real?

It all seems to make perfect sense until it doesn't. Doesn't it? I used to feel that destiny played a hand in everything I did. Perhaps naively thinking so as destiny is inexplicably and unconditionally linked with good fortune. And therefore given the association I was destined. I may no longer hold this as true considering I question previous logic. Instead I heed the advice of those who preach hard work and simply 'getting out there'. One thing that I do acknowledge is that I lost the ability to ask for what I want. Does anybody use that form of authenticity any more? I certainly would like to rediscover it.

At times I explore my state of mind and my state of being and rationalize that this is me waiting for what I truly want and desire. It seems as though a sufficient amount of time has been spent learning what I do not desire to do. But clearly idleness is not the vehicle to discovering 'destiny' so to speak. I place myself in a fortunate few. A window to take advantage of any opportunity or desire that I identify as attainable. And with that I am armed with renewed vigor and self assurance.

So I implore myself. I beg myself. That I be freed from the shackles of my own undefined ambition.

Song of the Day: Nujabes-Another Reflection

Needs Improvement

Transition, it is always filled with variations in emotions and questions. Issues such as what do I want to accomplish? What will best serve my intentions in life and help me grow towards those intentions? What specific skill set do I wish to build? All important questions certainly but more recently I was posed with the notion that I was lost, out of sorts and confused as to what direction I should proceed in. This was quite the contrast from how I felt at the outset of that very same day. I had opportunity without it being actively sought out, the advantage of time on my side and the knowledge of what is important to me going forward in order to address the above questions. The reason cited for this view of where I am was in large part due to the following identified weaknesses. Keeping in mind that I do appreciate constructive feedback I decided to analyze the following weakness by first stating the area of improvement and expanding on these and then giving my opinion as to whether I feel this is a true weakness and any possible solutions or approach.

1-Lack of Organization/Structure: This is an area that I have had scarce success in. I acknowledge that I am not the best when it comes to creating a situation which is fool proof. I believe this feedback was meant more towards working within an organizational structure and reporting to a 'boss'. I think that this criticism is unfounded to a large extent. Mainly because when working withing a structure I have had little problem reporting to a higher level and no problem with authority. This is an area where I believe I need to learn how a hierarchy is created and maintained effectively. I believe that my last experience lacked this mainly because of the ability of both the boss and employee (myself). Possible solutions are being my own boss and creating this structure through trail and error, or going to join a large corporation and work within a strict and established structure.

2-Inability with respect to Execution/Completion: I would agree with this criticism to a large degree. When tasked with completing smaller parts of an end goal I find no problem is doing so. However, in my post university work life there is really no large project that I have been able to see through to completion with the company and team. I feel one notable exception is being a large part of building a property management business both in theory (operations) and in practice. Solutions to this are largely internal in that I need to work on my focus and dedication to a specific task with the end result in mind. There is an aspect of making all the parts and players work but I believe for me this on my personal level.

3- Self Control: This is a critique that I came up with. Dealing with two aspects in particular. One is to do with toning down my partying and the level of intoxication I allow and the corressponding fallout that can and does occasionally occur. The second part is to digest, refelct and then act appropriately in a measured way to achieve a desired response. Specifically I want to learn how to better achieve an end. I tend to act on impulse and need a more though out approach sometimes more delicate and at other times timely and assertive. The solution here is quite apparent. Thinking further into the matter will resolve impulse and moderation in any excess is something I need to excercise more frequently.

I believe that in recognizing and addressing these issues it allows me to be more effective in moving forward with a good decision. I do not allow myself to believe that I am lost as was pointed out to me, as I tend to buy into what other have to say especially considering the source. In this instance I choose to believe in myself with the knowledge there is room to improve.

Song of the Day: Mos Def-No Hay Nada Mas

Pilgrimage To the Hajji

Remember, friends, as you pass by,

As you are now so once was I.
As I am now, so you must be.
Prepare yourself to follow me.

I recently arrived from a trip that can best be described at the best possible manifestation of 'going with the flow'. On the last day of an amazing road trip through Eastern Europe I wrote the following entry into the Hajji journa. l written shortly before my travels were coming to an end I believe entry captures the essence of the trip and the people I got to know.

"The only was to appropriately describe this is 'holy fucking shit balls!' It is the reaction that goes through my mind each time I think about what I am doing, who I am doing it with, and how amazing it is. The phrase is also fitting of the reaction that anyone seems to have we tell people what Markus and Ren have come up with. You can see the envy, the awe, and the inspiration that is conjured up in all these people. The Hajji is the dream for everyone and you guys are realizing that dream with the help of some really cool characters.

It sucks that I am going to have to wake up from this dream in a couple of days but who knows, reality may just cause me to hop on the next flight back.

I really want to thank you guys for letting me be part of an adventure. What you are doing is truly inspiring and I can only hope to reproduce an experience as unique and random as this. I cannot wait for the Hajji to hit he streets of Vancouver so that we can road trip all the time (and relive a brief glimpse of that European escapade).

To the Cast of Characters:
Adam: I will miss you bed time stories and your constant judging of my behavior. Not to mention the inner Jew you bring out in me.

Benny: I love the animalistic behavior and your encouragement to continually abandon my principles (contrary to Adam's wishes) as they simply limit one's options.

Cous & Ren: You guys rock! There are really are not enough people like you in our world.

Tannis: your always infectious smile will be sorely missed and I cannot wait to see it again on the east coast.

I love all you guyes and can't wait to hear all about your travels and see you back on our side of the world. In the mean time every cheers you gys have on the road, I will be there enjoying that first sip with ya!

Lots of love
JALIL

P.S. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU."

http://hajji.travellerspoint.com

These people and this trip taught me that the fear of not doing it is far greater than the aftermath, regretting not doing it.

Song of the Day: M83-We Own the Sky