Friday, November 20, 2009

Heart Beats

Its that thing that makes your heart beat faster, makes it skip, and occasionally prolongs that beat for far longer than is comfortable. It's the thing that makes you moan, makes you groan, and makes a mountain of a mole hill. That thing is your significant other. And that other could have been a past a present and almost always interferes with a future.

It is said that if you love something or someone, and it wants to wander, you should let it go. And should that something or someone return. It is truly yours. If life wasn't already complicated enough and your emotional maturity at a level such that the capacity to care for another was a possibility you more than likely have a similar understanding or comprehension of a circumstance(s) where distance makes the heart grow fonder and simultaneously makes the heart wander. Temptation exudes itself in all facets of life and lust is no exception. The feeling of want and being wanted is extremely powerful and pushes limits, boundaries, morals, and any other adjective you can think of. The problem with this is given the preconditions of emotional maturity and having the facebook equivalent of "It's complicated" makes moving on at times difficult.

Now careful not to confuse this with instances where malice and unfaithfulness was the lead up to conclusion, but instead a level of understanding and companionship that still were not enough to keep the physical presence of each person present. It is these instances that are the most difficult to dissect and break free from. So sweet you can still taste it. So fresh you can still feel it. It is this departure from a relationship that leaves the question of what could be and the lingering of the past. How does one proceed forward? The answer, with caution and reckless abandon for an improvement on that previous feeling.

The only bigger injustice that can be done to the one who you cared for is to dismiss your own happiness and sacrifice it for something that is not guaranteed. That person spent an inordinate amount of time and energy learning with you what is possible and what can be realized from a combined experiences in life. The point of the whole thing was to continue to improve and to seek out better. And in some cases there will be none better. No experience that can compare. No feeling that adequately captures emotion. No one that looks quite the right way at you. Or does that quirky clean your ears thing that you know is so weird but miss so dearly. But it is at that point when you know he/she was the one that they come back. Never close doors that can lead you to greener pastures merely to postpone the past. Life is really only worth doing if your living. And lust, want, and relationships make that next heart beat real.

The XX - Shelter (Death To The Throne Remix)

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