Well I just got in what was probably one of the worst accidents I have been. Thankfully there is not a scratch on me. I more than likely wrote off the Audi (one of the most beautiful cars I have had the pleasure of driving). I was actually going write today about a lot of topics cause I have had so much in my head lately. Everything ranging from philosophical topics, some random ideas that I had go through my head which I thought would be excellent reading down the line, and even a bit about love. Given the the facts of recent events however the most relevant topic is probably the philosophically motivated post.
The central theme, and catalyst behind this was the question, If you knew you only had 12 months to live would you continue living how your living? And if not, how would you spend that time? I posed this question to a very dear and intelligent friend who had an answer that I believe few people would have. The answer she gave was that yes she would continue her current course in life and despite a few (and what I would deem natural) changes with respect to her relationships with the people she values, things would remain relatively on the same level. I consider this a very fortunate, rare and enviable position. Now whether this is true or not is something I never hope gets tested however, I do know that I cannot say the same for myself. I certainly would change pretty much everything.
For starters I would not do what I do in terms of work for free (perhaps an indicator that I don't love what I do). I would pretty much dedicate the entirety of my time to the people I love and the places I have never seen. This single question leads to a whole set of other questions depending on the answer given. But the ultimate one is why would I wait for a situation so dire to occur before just doing what I want in the first place? Short answer is I am just to damn comfortable and risk averse. The long answer I probably do not understand fully myself or would be able to articulate even if I did. Even worse maybe I do know the answer and I am just to fearful to actually confront it cause the best solutions in life are usually more difficult, but fuck the change worth it!
All in all I think its probably a balancing act at best between what you love and what you must do in order to do what you love. The trick, which is commonly known in my estimation, is to get those two things to match. And frankly I wish everyone the success that my friend is having in finding that fit.
Song of the Day: Feeder-High
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